


The Bends

by Foggy_Dayyy



Series: Undertale drabbles [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Gen, Oneshot, Post-Canon, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 08:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11642349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foggy_Dayyy/pseuds/Foggy_Dayyy
Summary: The stars are beautiful.There's a kind of symmetry you feel between yourself and the void. That impossible black contrasting little pinpoints of white.The stars are beautiful. Papyrus is so happy it makes your head spin. And maybe you're not as excited as you want to be, but at least you can appreciate that.





	The Bends

**Author's Note:**

> Here's an old barely edited drabble I've had sitting finished for like. 8 months now. Kind of related to my other fic [Backmasting ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7264282)in that they're both inspired by [the dictionary of obscure sorrows. ](http://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com)
> 
> rated T for sadness and cursing 
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> [The bends](http://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/post/15127225021/the-bends)  
> n. frustration that you’re not enjoying an experience as much as you should, even something you’ve worked for years to attain, which prompts you to plug in various thought combinations to try for anything more than static emotional blankness, as if your heart had been accidentally demagnetized by a surge of expectations.

The stars are beautiful.

They really are. Mind blowing, even. Better than the crystals on the ceiling in waterfall. Better than the pictures in your books. Better than the glow-in-the-dark star stickers in your bedroom. Better than anything you could've got your claws on in the underground.

You wonder if you cried the first time you saw them (you don't think so, you're not really the weepy type.) You wonder if this really is the first time (and this is the only time you'll be able to enjoy it for the first time. The thought saddens you, just a little.) Maybe you only went through this once. Maybe...

You know that's not true, but fuck, maybe.

Frisk seems tired. You can relate. Though you haven't saved a civilization multiple(?) times, so maybe you can't.

Papyrus's smile looks painfully wide, like he can't possibly express all of the joy he's feeling. It's brighter than the moon. Brighter than the sun, too. You can't stand to look at him for long.

So instead you fixate your gaze on the sky above you. The black void of space speckled by white stars unfathomable distances away from you. Light that's probably years old. You remember reading in a beat up book that it's all just a mass of gasses undergoing nuclear fusion. And wow, does that ruin the romanticism.

Yeah. You should probably be excited about this. Happy, maybe. Ha ha, starstruck? Something.

And there's nothing. No bedazzlement, no anticipation for what could be with this new avenue open up to you. And there's a symmetry to that, to you and the darkness above. And, ha, what does it matter if you don't feel it anywa-

This is the end. You know this is the end. Here's the surface you're seeing for the first(?) time. This is what monsterkind has been working towards for years. This is what you've dreamed about as you stared up at those dumb plastic stars.

The sharpness of the air reminds you of snowdin. There's an irony in realizing you'd rather be there that isn't lost to you. Right now, on the surface, it's winter, something that didn't matter much in the underground. And somewhere else in the world, it's summer. It matters equally as much.

"Sans! They're beautiful!"

You let your eyes slide shut. It's not much darker than the sky. "They sure are, bro."

He's so happy, god, he's fucking ecstatic. He's also making a comment about how you weren't even looking, one that rolls off your shoulders with an ease that only comes from years of practice.

(Why don't you feel the same way?)

You remember the first time you learned about stars. That ancient, yellowed book, pages torn out and a hefty amount of annotations scrawled next to walls of text. It was a staple in your childhood. You treasured it more than anything, and you fought so hard against that impossible barrier of rock and magic it- it-

(Sometimes you figure out things you'd be better off not knowing. Sometimes, your coworkers get erased from existence and you're left scrabbling for footing with nothing but cryptic notes and a broken machine. Sometimes those things put shit in perspective, and sometimes that's a bad thing.)

There was a sort of tingling excitement behind your sternum you'd never felt when you first opened it. You remember thinking you didn't want to die without getting to see the stars.

Papyrus was just as hyped as you were. The two of you spent a long night tracing constellations on the little black and white photographs. It's an especially fond memory to you, one that makes you seethe in frustration for a moment.

You remember his gap toothed smile so well you could trace it out, too.

It's been a long time since then. A lot of years, a lot of burdens. A lot of knowledge you'd rather not have and a lot of knowledge you desperately cling to just in case it starts to matter again.

The stars are beautiful, and you love your brother, love that kid, but in that moment, you feel nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> [come yell at me on Tumblr if you want.](http://foggy-dayyy.tumblr.com)
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> thank you for any comments, kudos, or bookmarks you lovely people throw my way.


End file.
